No. No no no. No no no no no no no.
15. The Girl on the Train (2016)
There’s a girl on a train. Shit happens. Audiences are meant to care. Hilarity ensues as you clock Emily Blunt trying to do ‘drunk acting’.
I didn’t choose to watch this, I really didn’t. I was staying at someone else’s house, he wanted to watch it and he’s the type of man in his late 60s who isn’t used to being argued with. So I sat politely and endured 2 hours of bad adaptation and bad acting whilst periodically being offered Pear Drops, which any fule kno is the worst kind of sweet.
I know, I know, novels made into films are always going to be different (I wrote papers on this at college, believe me I know). But the changes from the book here are stupid and unnecessary. Part of the joy (hmm, wrong word) of the novel was the lead character going into her local Spar, getting 3 bottles for a tenner then getting wankered just outside Milton Keynes. I mean, we’ve all been there. Transplant that to upstate New York and it just doesn’t work. They don’t even have Spar in the US.
I could articulate further what I didn’t like about it but I think I’d just like to blot it from my memory now, thankyouplease. 4/10.