I think we chalk this one up as an epic fail.
18. Pina (2011), Total Recall (2012)
‘A tribute to the late German choreographer, Pina Bausch, as her dancers perform her most famous creations.’
‘A factory worker, Douglas Quaid, begins to suspect that he is a spy after visiting Rekall – a company that provides its clients with implanted fake memories of a life they would like to have led – goes wrong and he finds himself on the run.’
Right, not proud of this, not proud of this at all.
After the shit that was The Grey, and a long long long day that involved an hour long phone call with someone eating down the phone at me, I desperately needed something gentle and soothing to watch, that didn’t require too much brain power.
In my wisdom I thought it was finally time to crack open Pina, Wim Wenders’ love letter to the amazing choreographer Pina Bausch. I saw the Tanztheater Wuppertal perform a few years back and it remains one of the most beautiful things I’ve ever seen.
I lasted five minutes.
Temperamental DVD player, brain battery on 5% and The Italian crapping on at me about… Waitrose?… meant that sucker got turned off faster than imagining you’re in bed with Michael Gove. To appreciate it fully demands wine, an alert brain and no one talking about supermarkets.
So we ended up watching Total Recall, the remake of the Arnie classic, with Captain Eyebrows O’Farrell himself. It was big, loud, stupid, not a patch on the original (GADDAMID COHAAGAN GIVE DE PEEPLE DE AYUH!) but it was OK. Also, I fell asleep about 20 minutes before the end so I’ve got no idea how it ended (I’m presuming Colin won whatever he was fighting against.)
As I said – epic fail on my part.
(Not grading either film until they’ve been seen in their entirety when my brain is working).